|
Dear Madame,
I've decided not to move in with my boyfriend after all. I'm American, he's French (origins from Algeria). The reason is because he's slowly but surely starting to dominate me with his culture. In the beginning he wasn't like that. I met him wearing a mini skirt for crying out loud. But now, I see and feel a difference.
Because of him I have already changed the way I dress, stopped wearing makeup and jewelry, and stopped seeing both male and female friends that I had before I knew him.
Should I break up with him point blank? Or will cancelling the move-in be enough to bring him back around? I mean, I've even considered marrying this guy.
Signed,
Will never wear a veil in the 13th
Dear Veil Rejector,
This is a tough one. Will that bring him back around? I'm not sure. It all depends on his personality and the level of "committment" he has to changing your lifestyle. It's quite often tricky when dating someone from a different culture. You're right to bring his attention to it now as it can only get worse later. Definitely don't think about moving in or getting married before things are set straight. Stay in your own place for now and try to regain the person you were before. If he cannot love you or accept you for who you are and want to be, then you're better off ending things and finding someone who can.
Dear Madame,
My best friend, who happen to be a French lady I met through work, is constantly complaining that she cannot find a man but whenever I suggest something to her, like parties, introductions or internet dating, she shoos me away. We're both 37 and she is desperate to find a husband and have children. I already have both. I don't know what else to do for her. I feel like I'm not being a good enough friend. Any suggestions?
Signed,
Concerned girlfriend in the 16th
Dear Concerned,
Stop beating yourself up. If your friend wants to wallow in self pity over not being able to find a man, then that's her problem, not yours. It sounds like you've done all you can to help her. Leave it alone now. Give her some distance and let her figure it out for herself. When and if she's ready for introductions or etc., she'll let you know. One last thing, you mustn't feel quilty because you have a husband and a child. Be happy about it! Your friend is probably happy for you too, or at least she should be. If not, she's really not a friend anyway.
Dear Madame,
My boyfriend will not stop smoking pot and we've had several arguments about it. He smokes every single day. He's French and I'm Canadian. He told me that is a very typical French thing to do and that I just don't get the culture and am totally overreacting. Am I? I've only been here for six months and am still feeling my way around.
Signed,
Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
Whether it were a cultural thing or not, if you're not comfortable with your boyfriends's pot smoking, then you shouldn't subject yourself to it. And as far as it being cultural, I know many French people and they don't all smoke pot. Wine is a cultural thing. Good food is a cultural thing. But pot? Hmmm...after fifteen years of living here, I'd have to say this is the first time I've heard of that one. Tell your boyfriend that that was a nice try and to either slow it down, or you go and find yourself another French boyfriend who doesn't get high on a daily basis.
|