Dear Madame,

I keep having fantasies about my girlfriend's best friend. While I never ever make an attempt to seduce this friend or be with her in any way, I can't help but think about her sometimes when I'm "taking care of myself."I feel really awful and ashamed because I truly love my woman and I know she would kill me if she knew. Help!

Signed,
Ashamed at Levallois Perret

Dear Ashamed,

It's time for a little self-reflection. Explore these feelings (alone!) and try to figure out why you're having these fantasies. Having a celebrity muse is one thing, but using your girlfriend's best friend is both disrespectful and inappropriate. You will likely cross the line in the future if you continue this dastardly behavior. If you truly love your girlfriend, you'll work tirelessly to sort it out. She should become your one and only muse.

Dear Wondering,

We always want what we can't have, right? Whether your feelings are genuine are of little concern in this situation. Telling her would involve a total lack of compassion and a certain selfishness in goading your ex-wife to extinguish her free will. Indeed, the free will to move the hell on and try to find happiness. Stop being a selfish bastard, Wondering.

Dear Madame,

I am so insecure when it comes to my boyfriend being around my friends. He's so sweet and it comes so natural to him that sometimes I am afraid that he's over doing it, when I really know he's just trying to be nice to them for my sake. What is my problem?

Signed,
Nuts in the 8th

Dear Nuts,

Everyone is equiped with what some might call a gut instinct. However, this instinct can be distorted by life experiences, i.e. previous relationships. You have to decide whether or not you're being nonsensical. Self-reflection can be time-consuming, so just start by expressing your feelings to your mate. If he's as sweet as you say, I'm sure he won't mind toning his sweetness down a little in front of your friends.

Dear Madame,

My boyfriend recently revealed to me that he would like to see me in action with another woman. I'm not opposed to the idea, but I've always heard that you shouldn't invite a third person into your bedroom! We've been together for four years and I trust him completely, but I'm not sure it's a good
idea. What do you think?

Signed,
Willing to try at Bercy

Dear Naive--I mean--Willing to Try,

Hear this: bringing a third person into the relationship is never a good idea--period! Trusting him "completely" after he's asked you to sanction his sexual escapades is moronic. Enough said.

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