Dear Madame,

I recently gained a lot of weight, about 15 kilos. My boyfriend has given me an ultimatum: Either I lose it by the end of the summer, or he is going to break up with me. He says that he’s not attracted to my new “fat” body. We’ve been together for four years and I really love him.

What should I do? I want to keep him, but I can’t stop eating and I hate the gym!

Signed,

Fat American in the 13th

Dear American,

Yes you can stop eating. If you can't then you need to look deeper into why. Hating the gym is no reason not to get exercise. Lace up your track shoes little miss and hit the road. If you "really love" your boyfriend then put a little work into yourself. Just because you have him does not mean you can let yourself go.

Your boyfriend may consider his ultimatum as encouragement, not an ultimatum. In a warped sort of way men will do that. On the flip side it is not a pleasing thought to know your boyfriend is willing to breakup with you over your weight so think of this, do you want to be with someone who is that superficial?

Lastly, you signed your letter Fat American. If that is how you see yourself how is anyone else expected to see you differently?

Dear Madame,

How do you politely tell a Frenchman to leave you alone and stop calling you?

Signed,

Fed up in Neuilly

Dear Fed up,

It´s "Leave me alone and stop calling, s'il vous plait."

Dear Madame,

I suspect that my French boyfriend might be bisexual. He hasn’t said as much, but he doesn’t go on and on about how gross homosexuality is when we’re talking about men on men action. An American man would never be so “open” to such a discussion. Should I straight out ask him? I don’t want to offend him, but I might have a problem being with him if he is.

Signed,

Louisiana Lover

Dear L.L.

Europeans are quite different in their views of sexuality. Just because your boyfriend does not partake in "gay bashing" does not make him bisexual, just a very understanding and accepting Frenchman. You must remember you are dating a Frenchman NOT an American. In some European countries men hold hands as they watch tv or walk down the street. Does that mean they are going to have homosexual relations? NO. It means they adore and respect eachother as friends. If you are concerned about your boyfriends' thoughts on homosexuality or what he considers proper behaviour, just ask him. I am sure he will tell you just as I did, that there is nothing for him to be grossed out about. You did not say as much, but, are you unaccepting of homosexual behaviour? Do you bad mouth homosexuals to your boyfriend? He may not appreciate it as much as you don't appreciate his lack of discussion.

Dear Madame,

I tell my best friend here in Paris (an American girl) everything, and I do mean everything. But when it comes to her love affair with her married French man, she tells me nothing, only that they’re still seeing each other. What’s up with that?

Signed,

Feeling left out at Bastille

Dear Left out,

One word, GUILT. Okay, two, SHAME. It is quite likely she is feeling guilty and ashamed of her affair and she fears you will condemn her for her actions. Also, you make a choice to share everything with your best friend. That does not mean she is obligated to tell you everything. Is this a case of you living vicariously through your friend? If you are just wanting "the scoop" you may want to stop worrying about what she is not telling you. If you are concerned then let her know and give her the opportunity to quell your concern. Otherwise, leave her be in her affair. As most affairs go you may find her needing a shoulder. Just be there for her if it all goes awry.

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