Dear Madame,

I've been sleeping with this man whom I'm really starting to fall for. Right after we make love he starts saying things like he needs a girlfriend. I'm left wondering if he is talking about me, or someone else? I'm starting to think this is a "friends with benefits" relationship. I tried to explain this to him in French but he acts like he doesn't understand. Even though he didn't understand the term, I'm pretty sure he has to understand what I'm getting at. There's something wrong here though, I'm sure.

Signed,

Wondering

Dear Wondering,

Straight up ask him if you are his girlfriend or lover. Don't mince words. Guys need the direct approach. Do this without challenging his feelings, rather explain it as if you want a road map for your future together. You fell for him but did he in any way provide you with cues to emotional commitment on his part?

Dear Madame,

My boyfriend isn't giving me enough sex. I have to wonder, is he getting it from somewhere else? Is he not turned on by me anymore? I'm no nympho, but damn! I don't think once a week is "normal" for two 25 year olds.

Signed,

Lacking it in the 7th

Dear Lacking,

Don't immediately assume he is "getting it from somewhere else". Is your boyfriend under any kind of stress from work or family? How is your relationship? Do you let him know he satisfies you? After answering those questions keep in mind that men respond best to spontaneity and visual stimulation. Take sex outside the bedroom and look hot! Find your sexiest outfit sans the undergarments.

Dear Madame,

My best friend keeps going back to her boyfriend who abuses her. I tried telling her to leave, but she insists that she loves him and that the violence will stop. How can I convince her to get away from this creep?

Signed,

Scared

Dear Scared,

You're right to be scared and so should your friend. It sounds like she needs professional help to help her figure out why she wants to stay, as well as someone to talk to like support groups for abused women. It helps tremendously to be able to share and learn from others. We can gain strength from doing this. Try to get her to call the SOS helpline here in Paris +33 (0) 1 47 23 80 80. It's an English speaking hotline and they will certainly have information she needs. Also, an intervention from other friends and family can help also. Ultimately, it will be up to your friend to decide to get out of this relationship.

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